The first thing I did was make sure there wasn't a third shoe in there, though I really knew there wouldn't be. Zach; yup, and left and a right. Jen; capris. Jenna; LA Fitness, Barbie Training Camp.
In the blink of an eye I thought: How humiliating. I'm already here. I've already changed in the bathroom. I look ridiculous. What if I see someone I actually know? Is there no limit to the embarrassing things I can manage? Really? Who would dare to say something? (Maybe that snotty lady from the pool who said, "Excuse me...I"m trying to DO something here." Like I wasn't?)'sigh'.
Second blink of the eye: You know, I'm more than the sum total of my shoes. You know what else? Who would DARE to say something?! Everyone walks around here not making eye contact with anyone. And this is the one that tipped the scales: I always told my daughters act like you like it- walk with your head up and shoulders out- put a big smile on your face and give off such an attitude of confidence everybody will wish they had what you have. So I did. I squared my posture and strode out onto the floor and up the stairs to the treadmills like I owned the place. Past a dozen guys lifting weights who are so busy watching themselves in the mirror they didn't know anyone else was on the planet, past two dozen people huffin' and puffin' on elipticals so hard they didn't have the air to comment, and into the only empty slot on the treadmills. If anyone saw they pretended they didn't. That was very sweet of them, don't you think? On reflection I believe that my own mother was right. One day she heard me going on and on about my hair when I was in high school. She said something like, "You know, most people are so worried about themselves they really don't even give you a second thought." Humbling, but true. Nevertheless, I was very careful the next time I packed my gym bag.
2 comments:
I can just hear Theon saying that - and she was right, of course. I've had occasions to remind myself of that little truth. Haven't we all?! Thanks for the "Rest of the Story" ala Paul H.
glad you did it. even wearing capries. it reminds me of when I worked out with sarah, we did a zumba class that she and everyone else had been doing for weeks if not months and here I was making a mess of these sassy latin aroebic moves. I felt FOOLISH, but laughed it up and kept on truckin' and ya know what the 3 seconds I looked up to see if anyone WAS watching me I did notice everyone else watching their own feet. even if I was amazing at Zumba and looked amazing all eyes would have been on their own feet just as mine were. everyone wants to know "how stupid do I look?" do we even see the mess anyone else is making? or in a workout senario, we see someone with the perfect abs and they're complaining about their calves. Or someone of similar build at their ideal weight but they will see the trouble spots that they can seem to fix. selfish, self absorbed, me society. Givers, service, and selflessness are becoming more and more rare these days. this comment has nothing to do with anything, I just was thinking out loud. I love the confidence and self assuredness.
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